


Surprise! (What the Fuck)

by spaceMaverick



Series: Killjoys 'Verse [9]
Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - My Chemical Romance (Album), The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys: California (Comics)
Genre: ADHD, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arguing, Autism, Dialogue Heavy, Everybody Lives, Fake Character Death, First Meetings, Gen, Italics, Neurodiversity, Nonbinary Party Poison (Danger Days), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, Schizophrenia, Trans Fun Ghoul (Danger Days), Trust Issues, Unreliable Narrator, Zones Culture and Customs (Fabulous Killjoys), because val sees the world in a factually inaccurate way, minor deity cherri cola, there wasno relationship tag that left out volume sorry hes not in this, this is so full of italics god help me, why is that a tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:46:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27721628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceMaverick/pseuds/spaceMaverick
Summary: “It was a dark day for all of us, but it’s been especially hard for us at the Station, because we’ve been keeping things from ya.And I know this’ll be hard to understand, but the Fab Four never died.”------Not long after the fall of Better Living, Dr. Death-Defying makes an announcement.
Relationships: Agent Cherri Cola & Val Velocity, Motorbaby | Grace (Danger Days) & Val Velocity (Fabulous Killjoys), Party Poison (Danger Days) & Val Velocity (Fabulous Killjoys), Val Velocity & Vamos & Vaya & Vinyl & Volume (Fabulous Killjoys)
Series: Killjoys 'Verse [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1725742
Comments: 12
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> my canon now. i ended up keeping volume, dr d, AND cherri alive. IN ADDITION TO THE FAB FOUR. whoops.  
> the four fake their deaths in SING and live On The Move with new identities, but leave the girl with D, cherri, and show pony because shes eight. she gets fed up with not seeing them and goes out on her own at 12, and the comics take place when shes 15.

After The Girl’s explosive stunt that Val still couldn’t comprehend, most of Battery City revolted against the few BLI officials and supporters left. People joined the desert, people stayed to rebuild and start over, people disappeared.

He’d never seen so many _people_ before.

Val’s entire life in the Zones had been spent pushing away those he didn’t trust, and wrangling the ones he did. He’d see dense groups at the Nest or a concert, but his daily life was shared with only four other people.

Three. Three other people. Volume had abandoned them- abandoned _him-_ after his brush with death.

Whatever. He was dead to Val anyway.

So The Girl, 15, famed child member of the Fabulous Four, freed the souls of the damned or whatever. As much as he wanted to, Val couldn’t be pessimistic about it. Almost everyone he saw really _was_ happy. Better Living Industries was over. There was a frankly insane amount of new killjoys gallivanting through the desert. It was almost like the way his parents thought it would be. Things were good. He had his crew, newfound fame, and a lifelong dream completed (ignoring the fact that he hadn’t done _shit_ to end BLI. It was all some kid ten years younger than him that saved the world).

He must be fucking psychic, because his doubts were later confirmed at The Ultra V’s campsite when the music on Vaya's radio faded away and the all-too familiar voice of the man he attempted to kill in a paranoid rage boisterously greeted them.

 _“Look alive, tumbleweeds! I’ve got a very special announcement for all of you.”_ There was a faint shuffling in the background, which was uncommon. Whatever Dr. Death-Defying was announcing seemed distracting. _“As you know, our star crew, the Fabulous Four, got ghosted on a rescue mission for The Girl in Battery City seven years ago.”_

 _Good fucking grief, what is he going on about now?_ Val watched Vaya and Vamos exchange confused looks, while Vinyl rested his chin in his hand from his spot laying on the ground.

 _“It was a dark day for all of us, but it’s been especially hard for us at the Station, because we’ve been keeping things from ya.”_ His voice was somber now, an uncharacteristic pause blanketing the airwaves. _“And I know this’ll be hard to understand, but the Fab Four never died.”_

Vamos shot up. ”What the _fuck?”_

 _“How_ the fuck?” Vaya agreed.

Dr. D. continued, but his words were lost under the group’s bewildered voices.

“What shit is he pulling now?” Val growled. 

Vinyl glowered at the radio as if it could stop the old man from talking. “Y’think The Girl knew?” He finally said.

“Good point,” Vamos replied. “But her hair…” Their face twisted with pity, “It looked like a memorial type of deal.”

Val nodded. The Girl’s hair was dyed with a multitude of small streaks in The Four’s colors, with an additional orange that was her own. A lot of killjoys dyed their hair for fallen friends; it was pretty safe to assume that’s why she’d done it. “Unless it was part of the lie,” he added.

The varied exasperated looks weren’t a surprise, but they were still upsetting. He threw out his arms. “What? It’s a possibility!”

“Yeah, one _you_ brought up,” Vamos sighed. “C’mon, Val, she isn’t like that. She was a little kid when it happened, it probably really messed her up.”

“We don’t _know_ her! We _tried_ to work with her, and she went off and did her own thing!”

 _“You’re_ the one who doesn’t know her, you decided you hated her the first time she showed up!”

“Yeah, I’m sure she’s _best friends_ with you three-”

The radio, forgotten in the fight, cut through the noise with a voice. _“Hey, everyone! I’m sure you’re, uh- very confused.”_

“Poison!” Vaya and Vamos exclaimed. Even Vinyl looked intrigued. The voice continued.

_“Dr. D’s all true with his explainin’.”_

Another voice spoke up, a little lower and much quieter. _“We’re really fuckin’ sorry.”_

 _“But we’re back! We heard about Battery City and came as fast as we could!”_ This voice was higher, and so much louder than the previous that it made Val shut his eyes against the noise. There was more sound of _the Fabulous Fucking Four_ bickering and telling each other to shut up, until Dr. D. came back in.

 _“Alright, you four, don’t go breakin’ my stuff with your arguing,”_ he said with a chuckle. _“I know it’s a lot, folks, but I’m sure these guys will have a million ways to share their story. Until then, stay bright and keep running.”_ A new song started up, but Val was sure no one in the entire desert was listening.

Vinyl turned off the radio, and the crew was silent for what felt like an hour until he spoke.

“Well, shit.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have more written but this chunk is the same length as the first chapter so i figured i should post it. the next chapter is already longer than this though :)

Cherri Cola’s pickup showed up near their campsite the next day. Val put as much malice into his walk as possible as he approached, stopping a couple yards away and crossing his arms. The Girl stepped out, saying something to Cherri, and turned to face Val and his crew.

“Did you know?” He hissed.

The Girl looked him in the eye. “Yes.”

Val fought the urge to whip around and glare at Vaya. _I was fucking right._

“It’s not like we stayed in touch,” The Girl continued. “They were hiding. They visited a lot at first, but it got less and less often, until I left D to find them myself.” Her gaze hardened as she added, “That was three years ago.”

Someone- probably one of the twins- made a noise behind Val; he could guess they were wracked with pity at her story.

“I wasn’t keeping it a secret to _hurt_ you. Sometimes it felt like they really _were_ dead. I started forgetting their faces.” She fiddled with a green-dyed end of her hair.

Vamos brushed past him. “We’re sorry to hear that, Girl.” They pointedly ignored Val’s scoff. “This whole… _sitch_ is a mess. It really was dark back then, when the news broke.”

“Can’t help but think it woulda been better if the Zones were in on it, too,” Vaya said, quiet but sincere.

“Probably,” The Girl agreed. She glanced to the side where Cherri was sitting in the truck. “I didn’t, uh, have much control over that.” Her hands went to the large purple pendant at her chest, it looked old and worn, and Val noticed bite marks on it. She snapped back to attention, looking at Val again. “Look, I came here to explain all that, and to say that you’re welcome at the Diner. If you’re civil. And you want to.” Her eyes darted to last night’s campfire. It was subtle, but Val knew what she was saying. _She knows we don’t have anywhere to stay, after the Nest._

“We’ll keep it in mind,” Vinyl said.

The Girl nodded, pausing and looking at all of them, before ducking away and getting back in the truck. Cherri made eye contact with Val, expressionless, and started the engine. Val got a final glimpse of The Girl fidgeting with one of her beaded necklaces as the truck drove away.

“Well that was weird,” Vaya said. “Should we check out the Diner?”

Vinyl shrugged. “We don’t have anywhere else.”

“We’re doing just fine,” Val interjected. “But if you wanna visit that bad, we can do it later.”

The Diner was fucking impossible to find. Cherri- local minor deity, Vaya and Vamos called him- appeared out of nowhere with his stupid truck and suggested they ride in the back of said stupid truck. Val rested on the edge of the truck bed, watching the desert blur past them. He could hear the chatter of his crew behind him- Vamos making a joke, Vaya bouncing off of them, Vinyl breaking the loop every so often. It was kind of peaceful, not that he’d _ever_ fucking say that to Cherri.

Cherri Cola was strange. He was rough around the edges like an action movie star, but also looked the most like a Battery citizen of anyone Val had seen in the desert- ignoring the scars. He wore dog tags that no one had seen the names on, and carried out way too many good deeds for one person to actually be able to accomplish. Also, he was named after a soda that didn’t even exist. And now Val and his crew were riding in the back of his truck to the Fabulous Four’s unreachable Diner.

Thinking about it too much made his skin crawl. He closed his eyes and focused on the wind that was fucking up his hair.

The truck eventually pulled to a stop, and Val opened his eyes to see a neon sign that most likely used to say _DINER,_ but had since fallen apart to spell _DIE._ Val twisted around to gesture to the sign, his sarcastic grin turning more genuine when Vamos fell over laughing. Cherri got out and opened the front of the bed, not waiting before walking towards the main door.

“You can’t even see in the windows,” Vaya remarked, squinting like it would help them see through the grime and literal newspaper covering the cracked windows.

“It’s a miracle the place is still standing,” Val said. _Especially after being abandoned for seven years._ It didn’t look like anyone had found it while it was empty.

The door opened, and The Girl stepped out, Cherri directly behind her. “I honestly thought you wouldn’t come,” she said casually. She waved them in, though, and Val hesitantly entered the decrepit building. “Ultra Vs, meet the Fab Four. Fab Four, meet the Ultra Vs,” The Girl announced, gesturing between them and four people sitting at a torn booth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun cliffhanger >:3c the four have been living in ~secret~ so they look different too! i only have a b&w drawing of [ghoul](https://spacemaverick.tumblr.com/post/635485133931151360/the-four-fake-their-deaths-in-sing-and-change-up) but yeah it was fun to think of new designs!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the fab four are awkward, what a surprise /s

The Four were hard to recognize with their new appearances, but Val could pick out Kobra Kid from his scars, and go by elimination from there. His hair was brown now, with a faded blue streak, and he was wearing more punk-style clothes then he remembered him with. Party Poison looked like Cherri with their dull shaggy hair and frumpy green jacket; nothing like the rebel leader Val had seen rise to fame. It was weird. Fun Ghoul also looked nothing like himself with long blonde hair that left the scarred half of his face visible and more tattoos; and Jet Star’s hair was shorter and a solid blue, and he had a scar over his nose that Val swore wasn’t there before. None of them were wearing masks. The Fabulous Four were older- more worn. _Much less fabulous._

“Hi,” Vaya said, bringing Val out of his thoughts. “I’m Vaya, they/them. That’s Vamos,” they added, pointing to their sibling.

“They/them as well,” Vamos said with a smile.

Val squared his shoulders. “Val Velocity, he/him.”

“Vinyl, he/him.” Their quietest crew member was hanging behind Val, eyes scanning the Fabulous Four.

Poison stood up and smoothed out their long black skirt. “It’s nice to meet you,” they said, voice shyer than Val expected. They still exuded an air of authority somehow, but it was underwhelming. “You know all of our names, but, uh, they/he for me, and he/him for the rest.” They made a sweeping gesture across the crew. Ghoul stood and leaned dramatically against Poison, who added “Except Ghoul; he uses anything.”

Ghoul grinned, looking in The Ultra Vs’ general direction, but not at anyone in particular. “I’d ask if you wanted anything to eat, but we don’t got anything. Movin’ back in an’ all.”

Val managed to not roll his eyes, but let himself scowl. “Where were you all these years?” He asked. _What do you have to say for yourselves?_

There was a pause, where the Four looked between each other, before Jet shrugged. “Around. We kind of hid, but mostly just stayed outta the way.”

“So y’just let us deal with the fallout.” Vamos punched him in the arm, but he kept his gaze on Poison. The shadow of a killjoy wasn’t holding any eye contact, but he knew they saw where he was looking. “The Zones were a fucking _mess_ after you left. I was the only one with any goddamn sense; it didn’t matter which _famous_ ‘joys died if we were still out there fighting.” Why didn’t anyone understand that? The Fabulous Four didn’t fucking _matter,_ they were just popular. The entire Zones didn’t mourn every death; they didn’t care. No one cared until you were famous.

The Diner was silent. _Fucking good,_ Val thought. _It was a mistake coming here._

Suddenly, The Girl was in front of him. “I said you could come if you were _civil,_ you idiot,” she spat, more anger in her voice than he’d ever heard as she pushed him backward. “If you’re going to start shit, _leave.”_

“Holy shit,” Val heard Vaya whisper.

“Outside,” came a voice. Everyone turned to see Kobra Kid sitting up, looking at Val. He shrunk back in his seat, adding, “All of us.” He looked imploringly at Poison, who nodded.

“We think it’ll be less intense if everyone has their own space,” they said, taking Kobra’s hand as he stood up.

“We’ve got lotsa chairs, hold up-” Ghoul broke off and disappeared into the back of the Diner while Poison pulled Kobra behind them out the door. Jet sidestepped past Val, making him jump back.

“Sorry,” Jet mumbled. Val just walked past him to catch up with Vinyl.

Seeing everyone standing outside made Val want to run as far away as he could. Poison and Kobra were clinging to each other like tiny kids, while Cherri leaned against his truck nonchalantly. The Girl stood next to the door, giving him a hard look as he and Vinyl exited, but smiled and looped an arm through Jet’s until he let go to help Ghoul with the fold-out chairs he was dragging behind him. You could see in photos that Ghoul was the shortest of the Fabulous Four, but seeing him in the flesh was entirely different. His slouch made him barely come up to Val’s shoulders.

“So,” Poison huffed, sitting down and resting an elbow on his crossed leg, “where were we? Oh yeah, you’re the center of the Universe, and we’re the failures that survived a BLI capture.” Their smile was thin and sharp, eyes narrowed dangerously.

Sure, Party Poison was overrated and pathetic for hiding for seven years, but even Val knew they could fight, and they could fight well. The Four, Cherri, hell, even The Girl could probably hold her own. There was a chance he’d gotten carried away in his anger.

“Dammit, Party, civil means you, too,” Cherri groaned.

“Ending this in a fight would be so _lame,”_ Vamos agreed.

Val looked to Vinyl, who shrugged. _Dunno what I was expecting._ Jet sighed and leaned back on his spot in the sand until he was laying down. Ghoul twisted around in his seat until his feet were dangling over Jet, gently kicking his chest every so often. Kobra and Poison were still glued together. The scene made something itch in the back of his mind, until it clicked where he’d seen it.

Volume used to playfully bother Vinyl all the time, keeping at it until he got a reaction. One time he sat on Vinyl’s chest for an hour and a half until he finally pushed himself up, sending Volume tumbling backwards. Vaya and Vamos had been watching, and both of them dissolved into giggles at the table they were drawing on. Val had been sitting on the couch, staring out the window and only vaguely aware of the situation until Volume’s shout had alerted him.

He’d thought there was an attack. Vamos rolled their eyes.

Val sat in a chair in the shade, crossing his arms and watching Ghoul. Poison seemed to sense he wasn’t talking anymore and started doing something with Kobra. Vaya was sitting near Jet, smiling and saying who knows what, while Vamos sat next to them and watched Kobra.

_He’s not gonna talk to you._ Kobra’s only words had been to tell them to go outside. Kind of like Vinyl- who was also watching Kobra, what the fuck.

Cherri walked over and stood next to Val. He heard him take a breath and cut him off.

“Not a chance, old man.”

“You remind me of Party, when they were younger.”

Val looked up at Cherri. He didn’t look like someone who made jokes, but there was a first time for everything. “What are you talking about?”

Cherri sighed. “I’ve known these guys for ten years. Party Poison didn’t exist when I first met them, and neither did Kobra Kid.” He looked out at the siblings and snorted; Poison was talking so animatedly they were stumbling as they paced, while Kobra shifted from one foot to the other with a huge smile on his face. “I’m not gonna tell you much, because you seem like someone who’d catalogue every piece of information on someone to use against them later.” _Bold of you to assume I care that much, asshole._ Cherri continued, “but they were _not_ happy. They were way too aggressive, and way too paranoid. The City had its claws in both of ‘em.”

Val rolled his eyes. “Every cityborn is paranoid.”

“Not Jet.”

“Yeah, well he’s weird, then.” Cherri was definitely fucking with him at this point. Jet Star was an incredible shot, and he’d heard stories from people who knew him before he was one of the Fabulous Four- he was a _killer._ Val watched Jet reach up and grab Ghoul’s ankle with an arm looped with way too many bracelets. This crew had softened him, that was for sure.

It had softened Poison, too; if Cherri was telling the truth about them, they should be _ruthless._ But here they were spinning on their tip-toes in an ankle-length skirt. Kobra Kid seemed to have his wits about him, at least.

“When are you gonna stop pushing away every little kindness you’re offered?”

Val jumped in his seat. He’d assumed Cherri would walk away after not responding, but the man was still standing right next to him, leaning against a wall, arms crossed similarly to his own. Val glared up at him. “You’re still here?” He sneered, but he knew Cherri could see through him. His tired gray eyes made Val’s hair stand on end. Cherri just held his gaze for a moment before quirking an eyebrow and turning away, heading towards The Girl when she called his name. Val stared down at his hands, the chipped nail polish blurring as they trembled. He decided he did not like Cherri Cola.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> havent done jet and kora yet, but ive drawn ghoul (linked in the last chapter) and [party's](https://spacemaverick.tumblr.com/post/636275045778522112/two-down-two-to-go-killjoys-undercover-mode) appearance changes! i really love how party looks <3
> 
> i also have to thank the lovely people of tumblr for their enthusiasm when i posted about the girl inviting the ultra vs over haha! particularly your-legit-sticks and narratorquestionmark for suggesting a party vs val fistfight, sorry that i didnt write it asdfghjkl- but i like how it turned out! vamos was right, it would be kinda uninteresting for the characters if there was a fight. theres always a fight! ~~_party can deck him some other time._~~

**Author's Note:**

> [also check out my designs for the four, the girl, and val! ive got a drawing of the girls multicolored hair there :)](https://toyhou.se/spaceMaverick/characters/folder:1710328)


End file.
